The sentencing of Shri Pavan, aka Oban

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Editor's note: The following are leaked transcripts from a recent hearing before a special tribunal related to a matter of urgent national importance. In the matter of: The Union of India & The State of Madhya Pradesh Represented by: The Attorney General  Versus Shri Pavan, aka Oban, an Indian national cheetah, aged about 5 years Represented by: Shri R. Dutta, Adv. 25th April 2023. Tribunal: Respondent has been arraigned before us and injected with an optimal dose of ketamine to impede muscle movement and yet remain mentally and legally alert. Counsel may proceed with the arguments. Attorney general: Your lordships, this case has been brought against Shri Pavan for repeatedly straying from the jurisdiction of Kuno National Park and encroaching on nearby forests and districts in brazen violation of the law and against orders of the government issued from time to time. While he may have roamed the forests of Namibia as per the law of the jungle, here he is expected to respect the law as laid down by Parliament. Your lordships, Shri Pavan, then known as Shri Oban, was brought …